Disappointment… It’s something a Domme should never have to feel but all too often I have felt it. Too many submissives in my life have made me feel this over the years. This feeling of the utter failure of them to fulfill my wishes and expectations is something that makes me question my involvement in the lifestyle at times. I weigh the benefits and the draw backs and I feel bipolar about the entire thing. There are so many things I love about D/s relationships but this one feeling of disappointment sits on my shoulders so heavily. The sting seems even worse in a D/s situation than in vanilla because a Dom/me really expects they needs to be met, this is what a sub is there for.
Quite obviously last night didn’t happen. The built up anticipation and the excitement all came to a bust because vanilla life wouldn’t allow it. I’d never fault a sub for their child or work getting in the way of time spent with me. I understand vanilla life taking president over D/s because it is where we must all live. It is the white space that we must float through until moments where we can express our truest selves. I do however have a hard time accepting when subs, past and present, cannot take the steps they need to prove their devotion (the other D word). Compromises, going out of ones way, selflessness has just been severely lacking.
The only redemption to this is that I am a Domme and I can keep a harem of subs to fulfill my needs, until I find the right one who can please me on a more long-term level. That being said, I have tonight to look forward to. I will be meeting a new sub and hopefully we will click enough for playing.
Say Yes Ma'am 