What is real?

Being ‘real’ is something that I struggle with in this fantasy oriented world of BDSM. In my life it is very real and I live it as much as I possibly can.

A sub I had been talking to recently said that he wouldn’t be able to continue our correspondence (we had not met in person yet) because ‘real life’ was getting in the way. This is not the first time I’ve heard this sort of nonsense. Why is it that people think D/s is not a part of REAL life? A life filled with D/s is very real to me and many others, something I actively want a part of my life. I am 100% real and live every day as a Dominant woman. When someone excludes me and my ideals from what they consider as ‘real life’ they are saying, in a sense, that I am fake, a figment of their imagination. I have feelings, I have needs, I am as real as the job you go to, the family you care for, the bills you pay. D/s is not mere fantasy to some of us. Respect should be paid for those that hold it in a higher regard, and no ones time should not be wasted with people who can’t see this as a  ‘real’ part of your life.

To break it down even further… everyone’s lives are busy. We all have jobs and families and friend, we all have responsibilities and obligations; every single one of us in the BDSM lifestyle make the choice to be in it and make it a part of life. Just as life goes on so does life in BDSM. So, if you are sitting around saying, “After I get my taxes done I can focus on being a submissive” or “As soon as I am done with this semester in school I can be a better slave” or “When work slows down I can serve properly”… Guess what? … These sorts of things are always going to be there. You have to make the choice that you are ready, no matter what, to have D/s in you life, not just an accessory to the outfit that is your life but an integral part of the ensemble.