Home-made Cookies

Many time submissives have asked me, “What will it be like when you dominate me? What will you do?” And my reply is always “I’m not sure, I don’t cookie cutter my domination.” For one sub it may be highly kinky and with another things may end up being sensual and passionate, but no matter what I always assume my role of power.

Things kind of went sour with the cross dressing sub but I’ve been lucky enough to get to spend my past few weekend with a new sub who I’ve enjoyed some very sensual domination with.  I’m a big fan of tease and denial and asking for permission to finish. I really have enjoyed bringing him very close and then not allowing him to cum and then brining him very close again, that mixed with ass play really is delicious to me. He is also highly focused on giving me pleasure which is fantastic. I love that about sensual domination. I lost count of how many times I came last evening and that is such a wonderful thing.

Although the real wonderful thing is when we aren’t playing, we are talking… and talking… and talking. It’s about wonderful things and things that mean a lot to us and random silliness. When you get on well with someone and things just click it feels very nice. Sadly though I won’t get to see him for a couple of weeks due to circumstances in vanilla life. Booooo vanilla life!

I think I’ll try to write some poetry to pass the next two weeks… we’ll see how much I see fit to post…

Chickens and Checkers

I really don’t have the patience to deal with drama or games. You know those people who one minute they run HOT for you and then the next they are ice COLD … it just doesn’t make sense… And I have no patience to deal with it. Either you are into me or not… circumstance and life don’t dictate showing that at the very least. I understand that responsibilities like family, children, work and even friends do pop up but even with all those things it isn’t that hard to show you are into someone. A simple note or email, a text hello at a random time, small gifts, or even just a quick phone call are all ways to demonstrate to a Domme that you are into what she is and what she is putting out. I’m exhausted of people putting in like 1% of themselves into this lifestyle BUT saying they are a person looking for a female led relationship or something more committed than just play sessions.

I’m looking forward to this weekend. Hopefully it will be a dawn of fewer games and more honesty but who knows… it seems that most men are completely incapable of honesty all together… I’m really hoping for a good dose of ass play however I’m not going to count my chickens before they’ve hatched!

Tart Quicky

Wanting Jasmine tea but
in its place was lemons blinding
bright sunshine orbs of bitter truth
sting as squeezed wedges.

Dive for the bottom
of the ocean for the chance of happy
Clown fish that greet me with dinner
and tanks full of oxygenated bliss.

Shake my head at the realization
of wanting milked black tea, rectum
and enunciated whispered hours
of ear enraptured chatter.

Tomorrow’s a new day,
where’s my glass of lemonade?

(c)2011

The D word

Disappointment… It’s something a Domme should never have to feel but all too often I have felt it. Too many submissives in my life have made me feel this over the years. This feeling of the utter failure of them to fulfill my wishes and expectations is something that makes me question my involvement in the lifestyle at times. I weigh the benefits and the draw backs and I feel bipolar about the entire thing. There are so many things I love about D/s relationships but this one feeling of disappointment sits on my shoulders so heavily. The sting seems even worse in a D/s situation than in vanilla because a Dom/me really expects they needs to be met, this is what a sub is there for.

Quite obviously last night didn’t happen. The built up anticipation and the excitement all came to a bust because vanilla life wouldn’t allow it. I’d never fault a sub for their child or work getting in the way of time spent with me. I understand vanilla life taking president over D/s because it is where we must all live. It is the white space that we must float through until moments where we can express our truest selves. I do however have a hard time accepting when subs, past and present, cannot take the steps they need to prove their devotion (the other D word). Compromises, going out of ones way, selflessness has just been severely lacking.

The only redemption to this is that I am a Domme and I can keep a harem of subs to fulfill my needs, until I find the right one who can please me on a more long-term level. That being said, I have tonight to look forward to. I will be meeting a new sub and hopefully we will click enough for playing.

The Rising

Tomorrow night I am going to get to play with my sissy cuck again. I am so very excited. I have plans for multiple men to come and use her … making her an even bigger slut than the last time. I have been day dreaming for days about her being covered in a cum and piss. I just really hope that the men I have been so diligently working on lining up will show.

To prepare for the evening we will go out a find her a new outfit to wear and I will dress her up like my slutty little doll. Then I will do her make up and help her with her hair. Once she is all ready I will invite the men in and she will be used like the whore she is, it will be so completely pleasing to me to get to see her like this. While she is getting used I plan on taking lots of video and photos over it all. Last time I got caught up in all the newness and took only a few photos.

I have a sneaking suspicion that tomorrow is going to be the LONGEST day ever because I am so looking forward to the evening!!

It’s Alive!

For so long I went turning my nose up at the idea of cross dressing subs and forced fem. Now that my senses have been awakened to it I feel like I am craving it constantly. I feel like a monster has been created in me.

Most of my time as a Domme I have really enjoyed the idea of turning a sub into my slut. I never realized how well these thoughts correlated with the idea of feminizing, and it all solidifies the role reversal that I enjoy so much. For me, I think, I really enjoy the contrast between time with the sub as a male and and time with that same sub as a gurl.

It is funny how one interaction… one small experience… trusting just one person can change your entire opinion on something. I guess this further proves something I’ve always thought… no limit is a hard limit.

Day-dreams of Plugs

I had this day-dream today about butt plugs. I really like the idea of making a sub wear one in public, wear one all the time. My mind kept wandering to all the places I could make a sub wear one and then I thought of marriage. I thought wouldn’t it be amazing that when I do find that sub who completes me and I want to make him my subbie husband that during getting married I make him wear a butt plug, a white butt plug. Knowing that he’d be wearing that during the ceremony, then at the reception, and then finally removing it and taking his ass on our wedding night, is just so hot.

Right now this is all fantasy, I certainly don’t have anyone collared, which means I definitely don’t have someone I’d even dream of marrying but it was a fun little day-dream today. Got me through a lot of stress.

Not a Bunny but a Bull

I thought it would be nice if I had a Bull instead of a bunny pay me a visit for Easter. It is wonderful to take a side step for a few hours and be with a non-submissive man. It is purely carnal in its expression but I love knowing that it is my right to have it, as a dominant woman. Although it would have been even better had my gurl been there to fluffy him first and clean up after. He was young and quite large, about 10 inches and very thick, so it would have been so hot to see her gag it all down, make-up running down her face. A guy of that size would have really made my gurl gape… and everyone knows how much I love that!  Hmm… I have hopes for that next weekend!

The easy is tempting…

It’s impossible to be ‘on‘ 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days out of the year. I believe that is what being lifestyle is all about. Some days I feel so dominant and other days I’m just a girl. Some days I feel vulnerable and question my path into all this, I wonder about a subs devotion, I think about if all this is really something attainable long-term. But something deep down inside gnaws at me at tells me “psst… he is out there and is wanting the same things as you… don’t lose faith… be patient…”

I have had this terrible habit, in the past, the moment someone does not meet my expectations I would release them. However as I’ve gotten a little older and a little wiser I’ve realized that I have not always expressed my expectations to those people in the best ways. So to expect things of people who have no clue of what they are supposed to be doing, is just setting myself up for disappointment. Good submissives need direction, they aren’t mind readers and they aren’t miracle workers. It must be added that a good sub is willing to take that direction and follow what has been asked of them. I am trying very hard these days to make it more clear as to what I want and to not give up so quickly.

Many times in life the easy thing to do isn’t the right thing and in this case the easy decision, to just walk away, seems to be what would be terrible for me. I will try to keep my wits about me, I will try not to have so much doubt, I will try to have faith that he is out there wanting to be what I need him to be. I am capable of being patient when it is worth it.

The easy is tempting … but I will keep reminding myself of the benefits to the more challenging.

Waitress I’ll have another…

My doorbell rang and it was my sub. We had been talking about this evening for the past week. I got in his SUV and we chatted about where to go for dinner and settled on sushi (he wasn’t in the mood for it but I over ruled.) When we got there I ordered a water and we picked out our rolls, sushi, and dumplings to share. I quickly drank down the glass of water and by the time my salad had arrived I was already half way through glass number two. I drank glass after glass in an effort to ensure my bladder was full to epic proportions. Every time I asked the waitress for another I shot a devilish glance at him and he knew where all this liquid would be before the night was over. After eating we chatted for a bit and I reminded him how full my badder was and he quickly responded by saying that we should leave.

Once back at my place clothes flew off, towels were sprawled out and I splayed myself on the bed for him to service me orally. As soon as I felt his tongue against me it was like popping the cork on champagne. I shot forth a golden stream on his face and down his chest, then another but this time he caught it in his mouth. He drank me in and I could feel my pleasure rising. As I pissed jets of nectar onto him he positioned himself so I would drench his cock. With each splash of urine my ecstasy rose higher and higher. Finally he slid his cock in and I sent a shower onto him as he pumped in and out of me and I emptied cum and pee all over his cock and balls. I came about three times before we stopped.

Then I had him bend over and I started to work my fingers in and out of his ass… two… three… four… and then finally my fist. Before tonight we had managed up to the knuckle but never the entire hand. So, feeling him push and ride my fist to the point that he was very nearly to my wrist was such an amazing turn on. I worked it all the way in and all the way out, gaping his ass to new proportions.

When he couldn’t take any more we fell into a heap of arms, legs, and cuddles… You could say I am feeling like a happy Domme.